Sunday, February 27, 2011
What is it with fear? I suppose it is something that has to be there, and is ultimately a good thing. Fear of bodily harm is certainly understandable, but what I don’t understand is fear of pride or ego being damaged. Why does my ego or pride need that much protecting? Is it fragile? Why does this make me hesitate to put myself out there? When I thought about moving out here I decided that fear can be a part of my life, but it’s not going to be in control of things. This is a bit of a struggle though for me.
This reminds me of a poem I wrote. This will be the second poem I have put on here, but I don’t want to give the wrong impression, I only have five total.
the only thing we have to fear…does not exist
life’s open palm is not a fist
when I fall I fly and when I fly I fall
to a crow the sky is no risk at all
my mother’s son, the fear runs deep
yet in the quiet times I dream of dreams
dreams that ask me not to tell
Today, I got up and Yelped a church. I went to a Presbyterian Church. It was small, which I was not hoping for as I wanted to blend into the background. It is a very open church and very gay friendly. I get a little geeked about diversity, so I loved it. I know that this is somewhat theologically controversial these days but I just get excited that there is a place for people that have mostly felt rejected to feel accepted. From there I rode my bike down to the where all the Oscar hoopla would be happening just to see.
I got home and went to the Getty, which is an art museum and outdoor wonder with great views of the city. Immediately from there, I drove to my friend, Allen’s house, to watch the Oscars. It’s crazy to think that at this time next year, I will be there (seat filler) to accept an award (warmest butt) and give a speech (I’m sorry, Mr. Firth, I’m sure that will come out in the wash).