Saturday, March 5th
A few years ago during my blood center donor recruiter days I got the opportunity I would always strive for as a recruiter of blood donors. I got the chance to speak in front of a lot of people to tell them how great blood donation is and that they should donate at their drive coming up. It was at Ozark High School and the student council president had managed to get an all school assembly for me to speak at for a half hour. Two red flags. One, a half hour is way too long even if I was just speaking to five people. Two, I was in fact speaking to over one thousand students in the high school gym.
I just started in powered my way through it while an estimated 40 out of 1,000 students heard anything I said. Those who were listening could hear me laughing through my words as I enjoyed the absurdity of the situation.
I had the same experience today.
I was auditioning for a stand up club in Pasadena to get a spot in their Sunday night lineup. As with the open mic I did Friday night, I was performing to ten other standups who were also auditioning. It was fun to watch, many of them were really good. I honestly thought, I’m going to do really well still. Not the case. I got up there doing my nervous speech thing and they didn’t like it from the get go. I strive for awkward as a character and they gave it back to me tenfold. At one point the only audible sound after one of my jokes was a loud sigh. I found myself laughing out loud at the situation.
I was hoping that my awkward story for the experience was that I sat for ten minutes thinking I was in the right room at the club only to find out that I was sitting in the room waiting for traffic school to commence.
Here was the conversation I had with the women sitting next to me.
Me: “Um, excuse me, I parked in a two hour limit spot, do you think they check that a lot?”
Woman #1: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t live in Pasadena
Woman #2: Are you supposed to be in here?
Me (starting to dawn): I don’t know
Woman #1: This is traffic school
Me (dawned): Oh
Woman #2: Do we look like we would be doing stand up?
Me: I don’t know
Woman #2: There are a lot of rooms here
Me: The funny thing is that I’m doing traffic school online right now. Isn’t that weird?
Women sit in silence
Me: Well, I hope I’m funnier in there…gulp
Here’s the great thing. It really didn’t bother me to have a bad audition. One, I know that I’ve done the exact same jokes before and they’ve gone over well. Two, I really do cherish awkward situations that I’m in. Three, all my eggs are not in the stand up basket. I’ll try it some more places and if it doesn’t work I’ll adapt, or focus on other endeavors. It was really nice to feel okay with doing poorly actually. The worst that it is going to feel like is indifference. I won’t see those people much or at all after this. So, I might as well cherish it and blog about it. It would be remiss of me to not include that it is disappointing and on my mind a bit, but I’m still choosing to move forward. The truth is I haven’t auditioned very much for things, so it is nice to experience that bombing isn’t all that bad.
Yesterday, I talked about getting affirmation points. I think when things go bad, I will call them, “crapfirmation points.” Today, I received 3 crapfirmation points at the stand up and 1 at the traffic school. I think I’m still ahead though.
After that I had a good talk with my friend, Andy, and went to a party where there were a couple people that I knew. That was nice.