March 15, 2011
Michelle and I went to the beach today. More specifically, we went to Laguna Beach today. After hanging out at my aunt and uncle’s house for awhile we hopped in the car and headed out. I really like the beach, but I don’t loooove the beach as some people do. I think it is because I’m pale.
Here are the differences between a tan person and a pale person at the beach:
-Tan person: Takes their shirt off without a care in the world
-Pale person: Takes off their shirt concerned about others looking at them, how many SPF’s they have on, and what their reflection might do to passing planes.
-Tan person: Names are, Brett, Derek, Chaz, Diego
-Pale person: Names are, Paul, Murray, Theodore, Jeff
-Tan person: Throwing around a football
-Pale person: Throwing around 401k advice
-Tan person: Build elaborate sand castle
-Pale person: Build practical sand split level home with walk in closets
-Tan person: Have tan lines
-Pale person: Arm is exact same color as bottom
-Tan person: Wears expensive shades so they can secretly check out the opposite sex.
-Pale person: Wears cheap shades worrying about the 2% of UV rays not protected
-Tan person: Playfully flirt with opposite sex in the water
-Pale person: Opposite sex exits water upon seeing “albino shark”
-Tan person: Due to complexion and looks people comment they are a beefcake
-Pale person: Due to complexion and moles, people comment they are a raisin scone
-Pale person: At the end of the day, leave the beach carrying hammer and sickle, looking red, like Soviet flag.
-Tan person: Looks like an 80 year old baseball glove at age 50
-Pale person: Looks like 50 year old person at age 50
I have a sleeping wife beside me as I type.