Day 48. “Having a Good Talk”

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I went on a hike today. It is quite amazing to have mountains so nearby. I drove up toward Mt. Baldy. It was about a six mile hike, although I didn’t quite make it to the top because the snow got too deep. Yeah, I was walking in snow while wearing shorts. While I was hiking I was feeling pretty good because yesterday Michelle and I had a good talk.

This had been a tough week for Michelle. It has been her stressful time at work. Before I left we were both at a certain elevated stress level, so any new stress felt especially large. I’m a little beyond that now since I’m in Fantasyland. However, Michelle is still in the place that most people live, Realityland. Lately, this whole adventure has been more difficult for her.

“Having a good talk” is marriage speak for argument that eventually becomes a healthy and helpful conversation. Sometimes though, I think the argument is a necessary part of the process to get to the good stuff. My greatest comfort in all of this craziness in being away from my wife is that it’s temporary. I can do anything if it is temporary. The plan has been for Michelle to come out for the summer and then evaluate where we’re at with our adventure. I couldn’t figure out why Michelle didn’t feel the same comfort in that.

It turns out she was concerned that since everything is up in the air still (no income, temporary place to stay) that it wouldn’t work for us to be together this summer. These are the things you think about in Realityland. So, the comfort of the temporary nature of all of this wasn’t meaning much to her.

It seems like that’s how it works in marital “good talks.” It takes awhile to uncover the top layers to get to what is actually going on. In truth, I wouldn’t do anything to mess up us being able to be together for an extended amount of time this summer. If I have a bed to sleep on, she will too.



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2 responses to “Day 48. “Having a Good Talk”

  1. Jamie Cantrell

    I’ve heard it said that married couples don’t have arguments. They have “moments of intense fellowship.”

  2. Laura Gwin

    You should know the correct response to a “discussion” is always – “You’re right Michelle. I love you.”

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