Day 54. Los Angeles, You Just Got Served

Saturday, April 16. 2011

My friend, Josh, is visiting this weekend. He has 5 kids. 5. They’re all his. So, what do you think happens when a father of 5 and an unemployed man do when they get together for a Saturday in Los Angeles?

Well, things get a little crazy.

1. They wake up and eat a crazy sensible breakfast of cereal and fruit.

2. They giggle as they put sunscreen on each other’s backs.

3. They drive to Venice Beach.

4. You think they pay too much for parking? Heck no! They circle around and wait for free street parking. Do they find it? Yes.

5. They arrive at Venice Beach where all the crazy and unique people in the world are hanging out. They watch some street performers. Do they stay and tip when the performers walk around with buckets? No! They briskly walk away and pretend to be on their phones.

6. Then they sit on the beach with all kinds of beautiful ladies in bikinis running around…and discuss jobs, and family, and other bad a** stuff. That’s sick!

7. They play frisbee, like gangstas.

8. Does one of them keep his shirt on most of the time? Yep. He’s got mother effing fair skin, y’all, and the risk of melanoma just doesn’t quite seem worth it, brother!

9. Do you think they sit down for an expensive meal on a patio? No way. They get a slice of pizza at one place, then a low calorie smoothie at another.

10. They get home and take showers to get the sand outta places, playa!

11. Feeling hungry, they find a unique burger place named, Umami Burger, specializing in unique burgers and pairings with drinks, because they don’t care what you think.

12. Then, of course, like a couple of guys two time zones away from their wives, they go out and get a drink at a place called the Dresden, where Swingers was filmed. These ladies men talk to a couple in St. Louis Cardinals shirts for 15 minutes and then leave.

13. How do these gangsta, playa, smooth talking, guys end their night? They walk into a Rite Aid, of course, and buy some topical ointment for athlete’s foot.

Los Angeles, you just got served!



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5 responses to “Day 54. Los Angeles, You Just Got Served

  1. Amanda Rehani

    Mmmm, how was Umami Burger? I really want to go there.

    • jeffhoughton

      Ummm…I’m not a big foodie, I don’t get too high or low about food, but it was awesome. I haven’t stopped talking about it.

  2. Mmm Umami Burger… best part of this post not excepting the giggling and sunscreen slathering.

  3. Rick Parks

    What a great list. Hilarious

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