Thursday, April 21, 2011
I woke up this morning with the immediate knowledge that I had overslept. You know the feeling. There is no grogginess, no wiping of the eyes, only a glance to the alarm clock to have a third party confirmation of what you already know.
I was indeed late picking Michelle up from the airport, so I couldn’t get any cool shot of her coming down the escalator this time.
One thing I learned dating long distance before is that every visit is not going to be magical, and that’s okay. It’s good now, but we had some things to talk out. I’ve wanted to be honest in this blog, so I am.
This is difficult for us. It’s difficult in both similar and different ways.
Here’s the deal. We don’t really have much of a plan. We’re not planning on her moving out here at a certain time and we’re not planning on me coming home at a certain point. It is as open ended as can be. As a result, we both struggle with the uncertainty and the loneliness. I’m realizing the baseline of stress this gives us at most times.
At times we have a tough time relating to the differences of our other struggles. I tend to struggle a lot thinking about the money. This is why I eat very little and am losing weight. Talking to Michelle made me realize just how much I think about it in the back of my mind. Michelle tends to struggle more with the uncertainty and the emptiness of the house when she comes home. At times, we fail to appreciate and understand the other’s struggles. At times we feel distant.
That’s why you talk things out. It doesn’t change the circumstances, but it makes the distance shrink and the understanding grow.
Things are good. We had an amazing nap (I also sleep better with her around). We made dinner last night and watched TV. This felt great and ordinary, except the part where I helped to cook. Long distance makes you do strange things.
Tomorrow I’m going to film the deleted High Fidelity scene I mentioned yesterday. I got the part. This is a student project for a class that will be seen by tens of people in a class. It pays nothing. It may be silly to be excited for such a thing, but I am. Most everything I’ve done before is something I’ve been a part of creating, or something where someone has seen me performing improv before. This one, I just auditioned well. Hopefully, I will be able to add it to my reel (video acting resume), which needs to be beefed up.
Michelle has approved the content of this post.