Day 107. A Day That Will Live in Infamy. Part 2

Part Two.

Part One is chronicled here. 

6:33. The Energetic Hobbit is the only one seemingly unphased by the monotony. He got five jugs stacked on one another, jumps in the air, and does a toe touch. 

6:49. I call Michelle. We were promised one phone call when we were arraigned. I tell her not to wait for me on the outside. Please, remarry, I want to know you’re taken care of.

7:02. The green group gets called up. They’re going on the show!

7:03. I’m not with them.

7:08. I’m looking for slivers of hope. Sure, another group got called up, but people are still periodically going into wardrobe, and there are enough of us left for another episode.

7:10. There are 10 of us left in the yellow group, and strangely, 3 from the orange group. If they film another one, at least 3 of us won’t make it.

7:22. Good news. I hear this exchange near me between Jules and a production assistant:

Jules: I’ve got to go man, I’ve been puking in the bathroom

Jules does look really, really sweaty.

Production Assistant: Okay, let me check and see if it’s alright for you to go.

Production Assistant (into walkie): We’ve got a man down. Can he leave? What?

PA (to Jules): What do you think it was?

Jules: I think it was some bad roast beef from the lunch you provided.

PA (into walkie): Bad roast beef

Jules is allowed to leave. 12 remain.

7:38. They provide us with Domino’s Pizza. This is good, as tension had started to mount over who was getting the remaining grapes and Dr. Pepper.

7:43. We eat after a moment of silence for Jules.

8:11. Great news! I’m finally getting called into wardrobe. The hours of agony have seemed worth it.

8:14. Horrible news! The wardrobe guy was apparently drunk when he picked out my outfit. As I interacted with him it is evident that he is really tired and doesn’t care anymore. The apathy and booze have influenced him to pick out a pink v-neck t-shirt, with a pink and gray floral button down shirt over it. Combined with my khaki pants, I look like I was cast as one of Blanche’s love interests from Golden Girls.

8:16. A wardrobe assistant woman walks in and looks at me.

Wardrobe guy: What do you think?

Wardrobe assistant: What is he, the stay at home actor?

Jeff: Actually, I’m saying freelance writer now.

Wardrobe assistant: I like it. I really like the button down shirt.

8:23. I’m downstairs looking at myself in the mirror and I can’t stop laughing. Lisa walks around the corner and we’re both doubled over, laughing hysterically for, seriously, a couple of minutes.

8:26. I would never wear this outfit, and no one I know would ever wear this outfit.

8:33. I come back to the common area. We’ve seen many people come around this corner and Lisa and I would make wisecracks about their wardrobe. This time, everyone is laughing at me.

8:41. I’ve waited all this time, and now, when I  premiere on a nationally televised game show, I am going to be ridiculed by my friends and family.

8:43. I am, however, buoyed by the energy of the outfit. I was really weary, but now I’m going to be high energy for my premiere.

8:44. I’m enjoying myself again. I stop to smell the roses (my shirt).

8:51. I lobby the wardrobe guy one more time. He relents, telling me to tuck it in.

9:04. The long toothed producer is back. He has everyone gather around. Who is he going to pick?

9:06. Here was the announcement:

Long Teeth: Well guys, we just finished taping our 8th episode, and that is what we wanted to get to. So, unfortunately, we aren’t going to use you guys. If we get picked up for more episodes, you guys will definitely be on the list of potential candidates.

What? I’ve been here forever?!! You didn’t tell us we were going to maybe be on a game show. We were called in because we were going to be on a game show!

Then he says, what all of us outcasts were thinking.

Long Teeth: If you’re saying, ‘I’ve had enough, this day was too long, I don’t want to put myself through this again,’ just let me know. Otherwise, we’ll keep you in mind.

No one responds, we still want the chance to make money.

Long Teeth: Well, thanks again. Any questions?

The Energetic Hobbit: Have you seen my Precious?

Long Teeth: What?

Jeff: We don’t have to keep the wardrobe do we?

Long Teeth: No.

Disappointed, we go and change back into our clothes. Lisa has now been there for 14 hours. I tap the guy on the shoulder who was trying to secretly tunnel his way out in the corner. He picks up his sharpened toothbrush, and we all file out.


I need to get much better about BSing. It’s not really in my make up to do that, but I need to get better at it. I’m obsessively honest, and in some situations, that doesn’t help me. I also, think this is one of those true, non glamorous, realities of Hollywood, things take forever and you’re not guaranteed anything. I think the ‘talent’ is not more important than any other equipment that make a show go. This is not to say that the ‘talent’ is not important at all, it’s just not more important than anything else.

On to the next thing.



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6 responses to “Day 107. A Day That Will Live in Infamy. Part 2

  1. Pilgrim

    That wasn’t a cliffhanger… that was a DRIVE IT OFF THE CLIFFHANGER. Sorry you wasted a day. But the shirt rocked.

  2. Finally, resolution! You were killing me here. All I could thInk about from your first mention of the floral shirt was of Jerry Seinfeld and his puffy shirt. Look how well all of that turned out. Alas, it is all just fodder for the inevitable memoir 🙂 keep on keepin on 🙂

  3. Leora Houghton

    Reminds me a little of “hurry up and wait” at summer tennis tournaments.

  4. Meaghan

    Ganbaru!!! Keep doing your best! I can’t wait to see when the elves come into the picture. Soon…right? Things are always better when the elves are involved. At least there were no Orcs! 😀

  5. Lisa introduced me to your blog. While this story is a bummer, you’re a great writer. Keep it up!! 🙂

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