Day 127. Ridiculous Search Engine Terms

Tuesday, June 29, 2011

I need to get a job. This is getting stressful. Today, I registered with another extras casting place because I’ve had no luck otherwise. While I was in there, Michelle waited in the car. We got a ticket while she sat there. Michelle tried to argue, but to no avail. $58. Woe is us.

Today, I applied for jobs as a valet, a front desk clerk, and an assistant. None of those excite me, but I would excitedly do any of them.

Let’s cheer this up a bit.

One of the great things about having a website is that  you get to see what search engine terms brought people to your website. I would like to share those with you. This is something that I used to do on my old website, The Mystery Hour (which I swear I have not abandoned and will post again).

For each search engine term, I will provide you with a disappointment rating the person must have felt upon being directed to my website.

Search Engine Terms

-girl sitting the bed. This is either missing an “on” between sitting and the, or an “h” in sitting. Either way, creepy. Disappointment level: Waking up to a girl watching you sleep.

-the foreign exchange student staying at my house was so hot. They all are. Disappointment level: Finding out the foreign exchange student is a distant relative.

-what is the name of a trick to discomfort someone? I believe it is called: Search For Ways to Discomfort Someone on the Internet, Then Tell Them About it. Disappointment level: Same as your current relationship status.

-studies about mooching.  It makes me supremely happy that the internet associates me with mooching, it does know all. Disappointment level: Recognizing it’s time to move out.

-what to wear for an interview at ben sherman. I have no idea, but whatever it is, make sure it’s tight. Proper blood circulation is frowned upon. Disappointment level: Trying on skinny jeans and remembering part way up that you have normal sized thighs.

-sitting here thinking about that time we were sitting in the back seat. just the three of us and how you put your arm around her. You should not have been there. The car may have had four wheels, but the back seat only had three. Disappointment level: Having to look out the window while they made out.

-average year for shaving facial hair. 1987. Disappointment level: Finding out you were born after the average year for shaving facial hair.

-i had to figure out myself before i figured out a mystery. Thanks for checking in, Scooby. Disappointment level: Fred’s ascot.



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2 responses to “Day 127. Ridiculous Search Engine Terms

  1. I had no idea you could do that. I am curious for myself. Can you give me directions? Do I really want to know what people have mistyped to accidentally get to the page of a sex therapist? What do you advise? (Hey to Michelle!)

  2. jeffhoughton

    Cindy, I get it on my site because it’s a WordPress site, and they just do that. Google Analytics does the same thing, only better, which can work for most every site. I bet you would have some hilarious searches coming your way.

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