Day 153. Ridiculous Search Engine Terms

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The search engines have really finally found this website. So, I’m going to do another installment of Ridiculous Search Engine Terms. These are actual searches people have done on the internet to get to this website. As always, I will post the terms, then add a comment, then create a disappointment scale appropriate to their term that they felt upon arriving at this crappy website that was surely not what they were looking for.

“help me communicate i am condescending” Well, isn’t that cute? Looks like somebody had to go to the internet to find out how to communicate. Congrats, my six year old niece could do that. Disappointment level: The same as what the people you are communicating with feel.

“best late night talk show 2011” Google is a fan. Disappointment level: Same as the TV station ad revenues for picking up the Mystery Hour.

“who was the first celeb to say “this is where the magic happens” Arthur and Molly Weasley. Disappointment level: You brought the hat, but forgot the rabbit backstage.

“bradley cooper -how tall” About this tall. Disappointment level: Figuring out that Hangover 2 was the same story line.

“polite way to start a letter with a few women as recipient” Hey, chicks! Disappointment level: Finding out the suffrage movement was a good thing.

“is my girlfriend a moocher” Yes. Disappointment level: Realizing she ate the last of the sorbet.

“kirk cameron superhero” You are darn right he is. Mike Seaver could get away with anything, except writing the answers on the bottom of his shoes to cheat on a test. He learned the information while writing and didn’t have to use his shoes to cheat, but he got in trouble anyway. Disappointment level: Having a best friend named Boner. Seriously, Boner?!

“accidental feel up” How did that get someone here? These better not start getting gross.

“hotel lobby naked” Dang it, internet, I thought you were wholesome.

“the magic castle porno.” That’s it, I’m done. You lost your privileges.

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