Friday, August 5, 2011
My host mom took me to the airport early this morning. I didn’t ask her too, she offered. I think they are just infinitely more nice than me. There are probably 5 or fewer people I would take to the airport early in the morning.
Here are my thoughts on the traveling experience.
1. Is there anything sadder than the mile long security line in the under construction discount airline terminal in the early morning? I’ve only flown Allegiant Air or Frontier Airlines out of LAX. They fly out of Terminal 6, which has been under construction the whole time. It’s kind of dirty and there are various wires hanging from the ceiling. It’s kind of a sad place. It’s the equivalent of a line of people waiting to be there for the release of a new Payless sandal.
2. Situation where I demonstrate the greatest agility and athleticism: grabbing my things after going through security with remarkable speed. The person behind me could have a chainsaw and a hockey mask and I would be moving with the same urgency. Everyone is so mad at the guy who is trying to sort through three bins. I’m sorry.
3. I was in an aisle seat. Whenever I’m in an aisle seat I want to make this proclamation to my rowmates, “Alright folks, let’s talk about the bathroom. You guys are going to need to discuss when you have to go and coordinate a time to get up at the same time, okay? I refuse to have the situation where I have to get up and down with only a three minute break. So, coordinate your bladders. You are allowed one bathroom break.”
4. The rage and disdain that the flight attendants feel for us passengers is not far below the surface.
5. The same people that want to get on the plane right away, are the exact same people that want to get off the plane immediately. You can’t have it both ways, either you want on the plane, or not. Honestly, the people that stand up in their window seat when it is announced that we can exit the plane baffle me. Standing to wait does not make it go any faster, it just makes you look like an ostrich.
6. Everyone should be given the choice between a “I am interested in talking,” and a “I don’t want to speak to anyone,” lanyard when they enter the plane. Then, everyone could sit in different sections based on their lanyard. Seriously, this is a good idea.
7. Are the No Smoking signs above each seat still really necessary? Is anyone confused by this anymore? Don Draper knows he can’t smoke on a plane.
I landed in Kansas City and went to their Friday night artwalk. Good job, KC. It was very cool. To be honest, I’ve always been skeptical that there was a cool part of Kansas City. I really liked it.