Day 166. Next Disney Channel Hit Called, ‘Jeff Has a Better Idea’

Saturday, August 6, 2011

This was my first full day in Lawrence, KS with my sister, Cari, my brother in law, Bob, and their kids, Ella, Cole, and Oscar. They are all under 2 years old, besides Cari and Bob. I slept in and then took a nap a couple hours later. In LA I don’t sleep, so this was so exciting for me.

There wasn’t much on TV after the kids went to bed, so Michelle and I ended up watching part of a Disney channel show. I don’t remember what show it was, but it doesn’t matter, because they’re all the same.

They say in LA it’s good to make your own stuff and not just audition for other people’s shows, so I am going to write a Disney channel show with me as the star.

It’s called, Jeff Has A Better Idea

Jeff is in the kitchen of his parents’ house. It has an open floor plan and is brightly colored.

Mom: Hi, my son, it’s good to see you. How did you sleep?

Jeff: Well mom, I slept like this. Zzzzzzzz…

Jeff mimics sleeping.

(Big laugh from the audience)

Mom: Oh good one, you’re a jokester.

Dad: Hey son, you getting ready to eat?

Jeff: Yep, I sure am. Dad, you’re a doofus.

Dad shrugs his shoulders in agreement.

Jeff: Mom, Matt and I want to go to the movie, Mini Van of Doom. Is it okay if we go?

Mom: I don’t know about that, Jeff. That sounds too scary. Remember what happened last time you saw a scary movie.

Jeff’s ten year old little brother, Tito, enters the room with a French Horn, wearing a beret. Tito is sassy and smart.

Tito: I remember! Let’s just say it starts with bed and ends with wetting.

(Oooohhhh comes from the audience)

Jeff: Shut up Tito. I’d like to do something to you that starts with beating and ends with up.

(Laughter)

Tito: Sorry mon frere, you can’t beat me up, tonight I have a concert and I’m the first chair for the French horn, or as the french would say, Le first chair. He blows into the horn.

(Surprising amount of laughter)

Mom: Actually, Jeff, you can’t see the movie tonight, you have to take your little brother to his concert tonight.

Jeff: Oh mom! Why don’t you and Dad go?

Mom: Sorry Jeff, we have an important business meeting with the Pattersons. Besides, you promised a couple of weeks ago. Unless you can figure out a way to be in two places at once.

Jeff looks directly at the camera like he has an idea.

(An image of a spinning light bulb denotes the scene change.)

Jeff and Matt are in the audience of the recital.

Matt: I still don’t see how this is going to work.

Jeff: Just trust me, these things go on forever, and besides, our body doubles are perfect.

From below the seats they pull up their body doubles, which are just mops, with faces drawn on paper plates and baseball caps.

(Uproarious laughter from the audience)

They put them into place and run out of the recital hall.

(Spinning light bulb graphic)

The two arrive at the movie theater.

Jeff: This is so going to work. This is perfect, this will get done in enough time for us to get back over to the recital hall.

(Spinning light bulb graphic)

Back at the movie theater, an old woman sitting behind the body doubles taps the body doubles on the back.

Woman: Excuse me, could you remove your hat? Pardon me young man, could you remove your hat?

(Laughter on top of laughter)

(Spinning light bulb graphic)

Back at the movie theater, the two boys exit looking stunned.

Jeff: There is no way I’m getting in that mini van. It might be haunted too, like the one in the movie.

Matt: I think I tinkled in my pants.

(The audience can’t believe how funny that is)

Jeff: But how will we pick up Tito?

Matt: Maybe we can run.

Jeff: I have a better idea

Jeff looks directly at the camera like he has a better idea.

(Spinning light bulb graphic)

Next door is a Segway shop. The two rent two Segways for one hour.

Jeff: Just charge it to Mortimer Henderson!

Matt: You just charged them to our math teacher!

(laughter)

Jeff: I know, it will be easier for him to add up the charges

(laughter)

Back at the recital hall, couples are dancing and there are two old ladies dancing with the body doubles.

Old Lady: This reminds me of the roaring ’20s

Old Lady #2: Why, he hasn’t stepped on my feet once.

(laughter)

(Spinning light bulb graphic)

Matt and Jeff are on their way. They pass by the restaurant where Jeff’s parents’ are out to dinner. When they pass by the window they are inexplicably wearing costumes, so Jeff’s parents don’t recognize them.

(the audience loses it)

The guys arrive at the theater running in and switching spots with their body doubles just in time for the concert to end. They convince Tito to jump on one Segway with them and put his French horn on the other one and they ride back to the Segway store. They jump out, return the Segways and walk back toward the movie theater.

Tito: Mom!

Mom and Dad are walking out of the theater. They both look stunned.

Tito: Mom!

Mom: Oh, hi son.

Tito: Will you take me home? These bozos are too scared!

Mom: Oh no, I’m not getting into any kind of vehicle.

Dad is pouring  sugar packet out in his hand and sucking it up through a straw.

Jeff: Wait, did you see the Mini Van of Doom?

Mom: What? Oh, yeah, very scary, don’t go see it, Mom scared.

Jeff: Dad, are you scared?

Dad: Oh yeah, and I found a gummy bear on the floor.

Jeff: You’re an idiot. Dads are supposed to be idiots on Disney shows.

(laughter)

Matt: How are we going to get home then?

Jeff looks directly at the camera like he has an idea.

Jeff: Nothing bad ever happened when they were on top of the mini van.

The family is sitting on top of the mini van while Tito is below driving it. The show ends with the sound of Tito blowing into his French horn while driving.

Everyone: Not nowww!!!

Up next on the Disney Channel it’s My Bad, the coolest variety show out there.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Day 166. Next Disney Channel Hit Called, ‘Jeff Has a Better Idea’

  1. Andy Walser

    BRILLIANT!!!!!!! Teens choice awards fo sho!

  2. Kristin Molenaar

    I’d watch this Disney show!!!

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