Day 170. Failed Audition Notices, Round 3

August 10, 2011

You know how sometimes you leave your laundry in the washer too long before you put it into the dryer? I’m really good at that. I’m like really good. After wearing a few days of those clothes my sister informed me that I smell mildewy. She was right, I did. This is not a segue of any kind, just a telling of facts.

I haven’t done a Failed Audition Notices posting in sometime, so I figured now is a good time. As I have mentioned, I get on for postings about auditions. I pick out ones that fit me and submit for them, then if they like the look of me I will get called in for an audition. Many fit me and I submit for them. Most don’t fit me.

Here are some of those.

There are many reasons why I’m not a fit for this one. A few words stick out, “model,” “hottest,” “can walk a runway.”

There is nothing enjoyable about me seducing women. Ask Michelle.

A young Wilford Brimley?

I do Neti Pot, does that count?

If dressing up as Half Pint, the inflatable blood drop, for the blood center counts, then I’m in, but I’m not so sure it counts.

Two questions: How big is the woman? How big is the puddle?

This sounds verrrrry healthy. If I’m in a relationship with trust issues, and I bring up the idea of going to Vegas to put our relationship to the test, I don’t think our relationship lasts more than 5 minutes past that conversation starter. On the other hand, if I bring up the idea of “putting our relationship to the test” and my girlfriend says, “Sure!” I’m ending the relationship, she failed the test. Lose, lose.

I’m sorry, this one is not supposed to be in this list. This is supposed to be in the, Yes, I’m Definitely Submitting list. If it’s a competitive reality show, it has to be done “tasteful artistic,” right?



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2 responses to “Day 170. Failed Audition Notices, Round 3

  1. Rick Parks

    This is funny, funny, funny. I love “a telling of facts”

  2. Aunt Cathy

    Jeff – thanks for the laugh (s)!

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