Day 173. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and Buses, and More

Saturday, August 14, 2011

2:30 am (4:30 CST) I am awoken by my phone alarm. It’s time to end vacation time and move on back to the real world. I get up from the mattress on the floor and sneak to the bathroom.

2:46 am (4:46 CST) I wake a groggy Michelle up to begin our drive to the airport. She responds with a groan.

3:04 am (5:04 CST) We’re off.

3:16 am (5:16 CST) We realize I’ve been driving in the wrong direction for awhile.

4:15 am (6:15 CST) I say goodbye to Michelle, something that is happening far too often these days.

6:49 am (8:49 CST) I’m handing my boarding pass to the agent trying to hide my carryon, or at least make it look slimmer. It’s about exactly borderline for size restrictions. I play this game everytime I board. I try to make myself look bigger to make the bag smaller by comparison.

7:11 am (9:11 CST) The stewardess informs us that we’ll be flying with Trixy the fox tonight. I try to spot her, but apparently, she is just the animal painted on the tail wing.

8:13 am (9:13 MST) I wake up with a swear word exclamation. The drink cart had slammed into my knee pinning it to the seat in front of me. I open my eyes to see what happened. Others look back. The stewardi (plural stewardess) is oblivious. I look on the floor for my ACL.

8:35 am I arrive in LA. I don’t have anyone to pick me up, so I have devised a public transportation scheme to get me to my house, so I can turn around to go to a table read on the Disney lot at 11:00. My friend, Adam, who lives in Springfield is a screenwriter and he had asked some actors to meet him at the Disney lot to do a table read of a feature he had written.

8:36 am My mission is to make it from LAX, to my house, get in my car and make it to Burbank by 11:00 am. Seems doable, right?

9:01 am I’m on the shuttle bus to the Metro rail station.

9:14 am Boom. I’m on a train. This is going to be easy.

9:24 am At one of our stops, I notice that there is a sign touting the fact that I could get off on the next stop and get on the silver line, which will deposit me to my next transfer 15 minutes fast than what my plan was, the blue line.

9:30 am I jump out at the next stop to get the silver line.

9:32 am Crap! The silver line is a bus line. Dang it. Still, the sign claimed it would be faster. I head down the stairs to the bus stop, located essentially on a freeway median under a bunch of flyovers. It’s loud. The only other man there looks eerily like George Clinton.

9:41 am I look at the bus schedule, it’s 40 minutes until the next bus arrives. No good! Atomic Dog stays.

9:43 am I run back upstairs to get back on the metro green line, that I just got off of.

10:03 am I get off the green line to transfer to the blue line. I recognize people from before I exited prematurely. I haven’t lost anytime. Things are looking good.

10:26 am Two stops before my next transfer point to the red line, they stop the train to have everyone get off. They’re doing construction on the rail line. We’re transfered to a bus to take us to the next stop. Dang it, dang it, dang it, I don’t have time for this!

Mid story recap: I have so far gone car-plane-bus-train-off train-back on train-bus.

10:46 am We get off at the red line stop I need to get to. I call Adam to tell him I’m going to be late. He says it’s all right, they won’t start until 11:30 or 11:45.

10:48 am I’m on the red line, waiting to get to Hollywood and Highland. 

11:06 am I’m out. Free. I run across the street, point to a cabbie, he nods me over.

11:08 am “I’m going to Genesee and Willoughby. Get me there.”

11:09 am “Where?”

11:09 am “Genessee and Willoughby”

11:09 am “Tennessee and what?”

11:09 am “Genessee and Willoughby”

11:18 am I’ve arrived at home. I throw my stuff on the floor and put on deodorant, and run out the door.

11:20 am I’m in my own car.

11:38 am I made it to Disney!

Final travel recap: Car-plane-bus-train-off train-back on train-bus-train-taxi-car. 8 and a half hours, the equivalent of a flight from Chicago to Eastern Europe.

11:40 am We start the table read. I act like I’ve done one before. A table read is just that. Actors are playing different roles reading the script while the screenwriters take notes. I played like 10 different characters. I did a different voice for each of them. It sounds like a fun movie. It was fun to be a part of it. We were in a conference room in the Animation Department at Disney, you know, like where they animated all kinds of classics.

3:30 pm I’m back at home taking a nap, hard.

3:58 pm I’m woken up when a stewardess slams a drink cart into my knee. Why did she follow me? How did she get in the house? How is it possible that she still doesn’t care?

7:30 pm I’m sweating on my bike riding to my third installment at the Comedy Store, this time in the Original Room. It’s the same situation as before, they gave me a bunch of tickets to sell to friends. I managed to sell zero of them. Not good, that means I’m slotted last out of 12 comics. No one can stand a show that long.

8:26 pm The promoter calls me over, I’m getting bumped since I couldn’t get anyone to come out. Bummer. I had really been looking forward to it. Luckily, he said I can come back another time and he wouldn’t charge me for any new tickets. That’s good.

9:42 pm After staying to watch some of the comics, I head home.

11:31 pm I’m asleep, keeping one eye open for stewardi.



1 Comment

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One response to “Day 173. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and Buses, and More

  1. Aunt Cathy

    Love it Jeffrey! I was feeling the exact same thing on our return from Nashville. Everything but the horse and buggy! Oh wait…did you count the Pony Ride in your story?

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