Friday, September 30, 2011
Here are some random stories of late that I haven’t been able to fit in anywhere.
-I have encountered a mystery, for which I have no explanation. I was tying my shoe at work the other day. I was bent down and I realized I had something poking out of my pant leg. What was it? One of my socks. No, it was not attached to my body, I was wearing a pair of socks. This was a stowaway sock. It was mine, but I have no understanding of how it happened. I had recently done laundry, yes. I had also grabbed the jeans off of a pile of clean laundry. However, I had worn the jeans the day before with no trace of an extra sock. Also, if the sock managed to get into my jeans from the laundry pile, how did it survive the force of my leg going through the pant leg? I can only guess that there was really strong static cling. I was laughing to myself as I saw the sock poking out and had to explain it to a customer who was watching me. Professional.
-I was in line at Subway on Thursday ordering my food. There were nice people behind the counter helping to put on the veggies on my turkey breast and ham. A couple of the sandwich artist girls were smiling at me in a way that doesn’t happen to me very often. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Then, while I was paying, one of the smiley girls said to me, “Are you an actor?” At first, I was wondering if she had seen my One Hour Heating and Air Conditioning commercials in Springfield. Then I realized probably not. I said, “I’m trying to be one, but I haven’t been in anything.” I wish I would have said, “You got me, it’s me, Morgan Freeman.”
-Speaking of Subway, what is with the Black Forest Ham? Doesn’t ham that comes from the forest, come from a forest pig? Isn’t a forest pig a boar? Come to Subway to get the newest $5.00 Footlong, Slices of Boar. Doesn’t sound appetizing.
-I have my third installment at the Comedy Store on Saturday night. This time it’s in the Original Room, and it’s on a Saturday night. I think I’m going to bring a lot of people, so it should go well. I hope.
-I helped out the guitarist from Weezer at work the other day. I could tell by his e-mail address, and the fact that he had long fingernails like guitarists often do, and by me googling him after he left. I also recently helped out this old guy, who I taught to send an e-mail. He was a longtime director who was friends with Charlton Heston and Rock Hudson. He was also married to Patty Duke. I Googled him too. I don’t think he will see this based on his knowledge of computers. Very nice guy. Today, a coworker pointed out to me that a guy in the store was the guy who was in those old Life cereal commercials, Mikey. “He likes it, hey Mikey!”
-I had a dream last night that there was another bedroom in the house that I’m staying in that had a kitchenette. I was kind of ticked off. I don’t think it was real though because I was also naked.
-I called SAG Thursday because I haven’t gotten my eligibility paperwork yet. It turns out they’re doing my paperwork wrong. Dummies.
-I was walking out of the house to my car yesterday and the dog that I hate that ruins all of my sleeping was next door tied up in the front yard. It started barking at me so I said, “Shut up!” then I noticed that the owner was sitting on the porch. I put my head down and kept going to my car.