Day 242. Ridiculous Search Engine Terms

Friday, October 21, 2011

It’s time for some Ridiculous Search Engine Terms. I haven’t done this for awhile, so these should be good. As always, these are real searches people out there have had that have brought them to this website. I will reveal the search engine term, comment, and then provide a unique disappointment level based around their search. Here we go.

“Abraham Maslow” I would like to point out that since July 25th, searching for “Abraham Maslow” has brought people to this website no less than 608 times, the most of any term. I wrote one post about Abraham Maslow confronting me in a park and the Internet has gone crazy. Disappointment level: Realizing you forgot a step in the Hierarchy of Needs and having to start over.

“strapped to the top of the car man” This sounds like a completely useless superhero. “Oh no, the luggage is flying off of the station wagon! Who can help us?” “I know, someone call Strapped to the Top of the Car Man, surely he can save us.” Disappointment level: Sales numbers for the action figure.

“pictures of crappy motels” That’s my specialty. Disappointment level: Same as all continental breakfasts.

“pony groaned under her weight” Thanks for the heads up. Disappointment level: Same as the pony seeing her in line.

“what happens in the magic castle” stays in the Magic Castle. Anyone else tired of this saying yet? You can’t apply, “what happens in ____, stays in _____,” to everything like everyone tries to do. What happens at the Midwest Regional Pharmaceutical Sales Convention does not have to stay at the Midwest Regional Pharmaceutical Sales Convention. Disappointment level: Nothing good happening at the Midwest Pharmaceutical Sales Convention.

“frank gonzales naked” This is my favorite one. Let me clarify, this is my favorite search engine term, not my favorite visual. Frank Gonzales is a friend and leading Mystery Year commenter. There are three options that I see here. One, there is a different Frank Gonzales who occasionally, or frequently appears naked. Two, there are naked pictures of the Frank Gonzales that I know out there. Three, and most likely, our Frank Gonzales himself searched for “Frank Gonzales naked” just to be sure those pictures don’t exist. It’s like checking yourself for possible cancerous lumps, you should just do it every so often, just to be sure. Disappointment level: Searching “your name naked” and finding something.




Filed under Daily Update, Funny, Lists

4 responses to “Day 242. Ridiculous Search Engine Terms

  1. Whew! I just searched my name + naked and nothing came up. Thank God…. for everyone.

  2. DOOOOOD!! SURELY there is a reasonable explanation for this. Is there a “Frank Gonzales” out in the entire-net that is worth viewing naked? I have never even thought to search my name + Naked?! Until now, then I was obsessed with finding some answer to this question. Nope, there are no naked F.G’s that I could find. Weirdo’s.

  3. Nate

    Option 4: Frank posted pictures of himself naked online and wanted to see what his Google Ranking was after 1 month….

  4. What in the world!?! I love this post, because it is so random.
    Naked me out there for everyone to see.
    Nate: Now, I am ranked the #1 “Frank Gonzales Naked” on Google. BUT, I am #2 when it comes to “Frank Gonzales Nude”. Hmm.

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