Monday, October 31, 2011
Today was actually Halloween! After going to improv class, I came home and Michelle and I got ready to head out. We were going to the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval. Michelle is not a big dresser upper, and I really am, so we compromised. I would wear a non-elaborate outfit and she would dress up as her twin sister.
This year, I decided that for Halloween, I would dress up as my friend, Gio. This is the first year I have dressed up as a friend. I’ve dressed up as people before, but usually they’re celebrities, not people you know personally.
I was really hoping to have this conversation with a stranger:
Stranger: “What are you dressed as?
Stranger: Who is Gio?
Me: “He’s a guy. You don’t know him.”
Here are a couple of pictures of Gio.
Here are a couple of me dressed as Gio:
I know, it’s uncanny, right? Benefit to dressing up as a friend: You get to borrow their clothes for your costume. Downside to dressing up as a friend: No matter how great of a friendship you have, it’s inherently creepy to tell them that you are dressing as them for Halloween. Gio took it well.
The West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval bills itself as, “One of the world’s largest Halloween celebrations.” We are lucky because it is nearby, so we could just walk there. It is indeed huge. The streets are blocked off and there are just masses of people heading to where it starts. It took a little persuading to get Michelle there because the only thing we had to compare it to was the Springfield Halloween Pub Crawl, where Michelle’s lasting impression is of hoards of women dressed slutty. We were surprised that we didn’t find that many women dressed slutty. Read that carefully, I said women.
Here are the highlights.
It is a collection of every Disney princess, there’s Jasmine, Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, and Gary! It’s a little girl’s dream from far away, and a little girl’s shocking nightmare from up close. Seeing all kinds of men dressed as women led to this joke. What do transvestites call Halloween? Monday. Kudos to these guys, this was quite the undertaking that they pulled off.
This man was on stilts, and made chain mail out of credit cards. I asked him how he got all of the cards. He said he applied for all of them since 1993. Upon closer examination of his costume, it was true, they all had the same name. I don’t know if he was trying to make a statement about the banking industry, or if he just remembered what he had a lot of in the junk drawer from a bygone compulsion.
This is a topical one that people in LA can appreciate. LA streets have parking signs on top of parking signs, on top of parking signs. They’re impossible. These were friendly versions of those monstrosities.
Now we begin the “male slutty” portion of the pictures, my apologies to my grandma. This was a man in a homemade chariot, wearing only chain mail and a spirit of domination. He is being pulled by a woman dressed as a sexy horse. I have two theories here. One, if this was not Halloween they would have been doing the exact same thing in the exact same bike lane. Two, I think they may have had this conversation:
Man: My mac-n-cheese is cold.
Woman: Sorry, honey, let me heat it up for you.
Man: Oh my gosh, I almost forgot, it’s Halloween tonight!
Woman: Oh wow, it slipped my mind, too. What should we dress up as this year?
Man: I don’t know, we’ll have to improvise. I’ll check the garage, you check the sex dungeon.
Seventh grade Jeff just collapsed into the fetal position on the floor. Not funny anymore. You may be curious to click on this picture to enlarge it. Don’t! That is skin. We caught up with this gentleman just as the cops were. He turned around for a picture and I saw something that I frankly can’t unsee. We did not get a picture of the other side, but I cannot delete the image from the camera roll in my brain.
All in all, it was super fun. There were a lot of creative costumes, and a ton of people out just having a good time. Apparently, on Hollywood Blvd there were 39 people arrested, while there were 2 in W. Hollywood. We missed the crazy town drunken Halloween and got in on the creative, male bottomed one.