Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I almost got walked in on going to the bathroom at work today. Well, I got walked in on, but I hadn’t quite begun the proceedings luckily. It wasn’t the walker inner’s fault, I had forgotten to lock the door. The bathroom is right off of the sales floor and I have a fear that someday I will forget to lock the door and be doing the sitting kind of bathroom work, when the bathroom door and the door to the floor get opened at the same time leaving me sitting with my pants down face to face with shocked customers. Luckily, today, I was doing the standing kind with my back to the door. Now, my female co-worker and I have an irreversible bond.
Isn’t that the worst though?
Everyone has been sitting in a one seater gas station bathroom when someone comes up and jiggles the handle. You don’t have any sense of what the door lock is supposed to look like when it’s locked, so it goes like this.
Jeff: La-la-la, just sitting here.
Door handle jiggles
Jeff: Oh my gosh, did I lock it? It looks like it’s locked! How far in does the button go if it is locked in here? Gas stations bathrooms never lock right? They’re going to walk in on me. Is it locked? I don’t know. I have no idea.
That whole conversation takes place in the span of a nano second. I got tired of that stress where you feel powerless, so I decided I would take the power back. Now, when I go to gas stations, I purposely leave it unlocked, that way I’m in charge. When someone walks in, I’m the only one who is expecting it.
The first way to do it is to bring in a fishing pole, some boots, some waders, and various landscape. The person will open the door and think they have walked into an idyllic scene with a man fishing at a pond. When you see their eyes toss them a beer.
The second scenario is that the person enters shocked because I’m wearing a wet suit, scuba mask and flippers. You put one of your flipper feet in the toilet and wait for them to enter. When they walk in, they will think you have just escaped from the toilet pipes.
Another good one is to bring in a potted plant, a little desk, a lamp, and some papers. Then, when they open the door, you are sitting on the toilet, behind a desk facing them. They will be shocked, and assume they are in the wrong place, until you say, “You’re late, sit down.”
Or, you could just lock the door, like an adult.