Saturday, November 19, 2011
Michelle and I have now been apart for about nine months, minus a good chunk in the summer and occasional short visits about every month or so. Add that to the year and a half from when we were first dating, and I feel like a seasoned pro at it. We went from dating long distance, to ten years later, being married long distance. In summary, the long distance relationship is just hard. I have honestly learned a lot in my time dating long distance, so here are my Top Ten Tips for Dating Long Distance. Now, normally, when I make a list it is mostly jackassery, but for this I am going to try to be sincere.
Top Ten Tips for Dating Long Distance.
1. Have a good cell phone plan. Michelle and I went from calling cards using land lines when we were first dating, to cell phones with Facetime, texting, HeyTell, and the ability to send pictures. We got iPhones before I moved and it has been more expensive, but well worth it.
2. Don’t just talk about what you did that day. It is so easy to only talk about what went on during your day. Usually, these conversations are more factual and dry, and impossible to connect with. Michelle and I have to be deliberate in asking more questions. When we get together in real life we realize how many more details and feelings come out in our conversations.
3. Let the other one know you are thinking about them throughout the day, somehow, knowing the other person is just thinking about you means a lot.
4. Make the financial sacrifice to see each other in person often, it’s worth it.
5. Sometimes when you’re talking on the phone you’re just supposed to listen.
6. Know that when you see each other it is going to be more intense than a regular, everyday relationship. This means you will love it more than normal on the good visits, and it means that some visits will be extra awful, don’t freak out. That is just how it works long distance.
7. As much as is possible, establish when the finish line will be for the long distance. The ambiguity of not knowing when it will end can be excruciating.
8. Have bad days with it, allow yourself that.
9. Say the sappy things to each other that you normally filter out. Guys, once you say it a couple of times it gets easier.
10. Guys, send nude pictures of your bottom. Dang it, I couldn’t get through the list without a little jackassery.
Today, I watched an Iowa football game, which they won. Then, I worked, then I went to a gay party. It was my friend Aaron’s birthday, so he threw a party at his apartment. I don’t use the term ‘gay party’ haphazardly, I was actually the only straight male there, as confirmed by Aaron. To my more conservative friends wondering what a gay party is like, I will tell you, it is just like a regular party. The end.