Tuesday, November 29 2011
Sleepover. Probably the most exciting word out there when you’re in elementary school. It means no bed time, sleeping bags, giggling, and for me, packing asthma medicine.
One of my first sleepovers was at my friend Andy’s house. He was one of my best friends and I was excited to go. I can still vividly picture the basement of his parent’s ranch home. To the right of the stairs was a couch and a TV and to the right of that was the amazing Return of the Jedi ewok village he had. I couldn’t believe how big it was, especially compared to my handful of Star Wars toys.
After playing with that for awhile Andy and I went to the unfinished side of the basement to the left of the stairs and played ping pong. At some point I started laughing really hard, which is like an early warning system for Houghtons that warns of urine. When I was a kid laughing almost always meant at least a tinkle. This time, I tinkled indeed, but through some miracle of shorts and underwear alignment, I didn’t get my shorts totally wet. Instead, I made a puddle on the floor, by one of the metal floor joists.
I didn’t tell anyone.
I was wearing a long shirt.
We just moved on to the next thing as if nothing had happened.
Later that night, Andy’s mom came down while we were in our sleeping bags and said something frustrated under her breath about a stupid dog. In case she might look over, I was nodding in agreement about how stupid dogs can be. When I got picked up in the morning, I was happy to go home and be undamp.
So, now, I’m mostly excited about coming home. Wait, that didn’t sound right, I’m super excited about coming home, legitimately. Michelle loves how excited I am because it makes her feel not guilty about wanting me to come home. I just have one hesitation.
I just don’t know what job I want to do.
I still want to do the acting, writing, comedy thing.
Ultimately, I have to find a job, and the sooner the better. I haven’t started looking really, and as of now, I don’t know what that job would be. As I imagine looking on Craigslist, or whatever website, I don’t know what could possibly be the one that jumps out at me. The dread feeling is overshadowed by the excitement, but it has been creeping in more recently.
As I said, I still want to act, and write, and do comedy. I will have plenty of opportunities for that, just not professionally. I want to be with my wife and friends and make babies (just with the wife, not friends), but I’m fairly certain that you can’t get paid for that.
I need to figure out how to monetize the things that I like.
Nutella taster. Surely there is someone who does that, right? There is no reason it shouldn’t be me.
Before picture for a tanning company. No effort at all.
Actor for daytime commercials for trade schools. This could keep me as an actor, plus, I’ve see a ton of them, I could write them too. “Hey, what are you doing on the couch? Yeah, you! You know you want to be doing more with your life. Remember how good you used to be at folding paper airplanes? Did you know Ralston College has a Paper Aviation Program? Stop making excuses and call Ralston College, you’ll be glad you did!” Or, “I am now employed in the field I love, computer design. Ralston College gave me the confidence and the tools I needed to succeed. Now, I’m employed, I’ve lost 48 pounds, I’ve improved my sit and reach, and I’m pretty sure I can fly.”
Guy who says awkward things to people. I’m good at this already, why not get paid for it? People bring me in when the relationships in their lives are going too smoothly and they need things to be shaken up a bit. “So, when are you guys going to tie the knot? Geez. Pass me the almonds?” That could get me $40 from a ready to commit woman.
Medium paced jogger. I like to run, but there is no way I’m winning any races. You could put a GPS tracker on me, set me out on an unspecified route, then start the fast runners after me after fifteen minutes. That would be really fun for them. It would be like a civilized version of Surviving the Game. Chances are they would always find me at Smoothie King.
Telemarketeer. It’s just like a telemarketer, but I will have a sword and a fancy hat.
Today I met up with Gio for lunch. Have I expressed how much I love that guy? I will miss him. Gio’s aspiration is as a screenwriter and has taken a lot of classes on the subject. He has been looking over the first act of a screenplay I started. The takeaway? I have a lot to learn. I really look forward to learning it. There is something so strangely soul satisfying to me about being critiqued by someone you trust.