Friday, December 9, 2011
As I say in the “About” section, on February 19th, I pulled away from my house, my dogs, and most difficult, my wife. It was easily the hardest thing I’ve ever actively done. I started pulling out and stopped at the end of the driveway. I have a heartbreaking video of me pulling away that shows Michelle waving and trying to stay strong. It felt impossible to do. Eventually, I made it out of the driveway, pulled back on the street and slowly started going forward, away, as Michelle jogged on the sidewalk waving. Eventually, she slowed down and stopped waving as she walked inside to be with the dogs.
I made it a few blocks, then I turned around again and came back one more time. I parked in the driveway, threw open the door and walked into the house looking for her. I said, “Michelle, Michelle?” she wasn’t in the kitchen, living room, or the bedrooms. Then, I heard, “I’m in the bathroom.” It was not the romantic final send off that I imagined.
When I finally drove off for real, I cried, and I was exhilarated at the same time. It was an encapsulation of what my next year would feel like.
When Michelle told me it was time to come home it just felt right. The sweet outweighed the bitter. I would feel a lot of things in the next couple of months, and I will still have a lot of varied emotions. Finally, I could just focus on the sweet part. I’ve just been excited to come home. I’m certain there will be plenty of bitter as I look for a job and get reacclimated, but as I was pulling up to Springfield after a three day road trip, I was just excited.
Yet, I still managed to take a video:
FYI, I’m going to continue to blog, and I’m going to do it everyday for awhile, more on that later.