Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Infomercials, they’re everywhere. We’ve all seen them a million times. Did you know that a lot of them are filmed in Springfield, MO? It’s true. I’ve done a couple of them. In fact, I mentioned last week how I went in to shoot a new one. I’ve never been the guy enthusiastically shouting at the camera behind a kitchen island about the latest way to broast a chicken.
“Now, I know, you’re saying, ‘Jeff, you can’t possibly take a live chicken, kill, pluck, broast, and slice in under 3 minutes.’ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I am saying you can, and I’m saying it because of the Fowl Torturer 8000. In under 3 minutes, you’ll have your family saying, ‘Hey! That’s juicy! Isn’t that the same chicken that was running in the yard just 3 minutes ago?’ Ha ha ha ha ha.”
I don’t think I’m cut out for that sustained enthusiasm. My dreams are more realistic. I want to be the guy that is fumbling around, confused, unable to figure out how to operate a pair of scissors. I want to be in black and white, and I want a big red X to appear on the screen.
Well, my dream almost came true in my latest infomercial for wireless headphones. I didn’t get the red X, but I was certainly the red X guy. But then, I tried on the headphones and my life was much, much better. The spot is below. I edited it down so it has just the parts with my “wife” and I. My wife is my friend, Sarah, and I just love, love, love her enthusiasm in her testimonial, mostly because I’ve never heard her speak with such enthusiasm, even about cats, and the girl loves cats. I hope I pulled off ignorance, exasperation, relief, and pure joy well. Plus, besides the testimonials, it is silent. Take that ‘The Artist.’
This will air in Barcelona. Gracias auriculares inalámbricos!