Friday, February 3, 2012
When I was living in New York, interning at Letterman I wanted to work out. My family has always been a very fit family, it’s just something that we’ve all done and do together when we’re home. I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford to join a gym, with what I was making in my internship ($00.00), so I was excited when I learned about the art of the free trial gym membership. I “joined” a gym around the corner from the Late Show. It was my first experience with a gym, so I didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t been staying in shape much in my time there because I was having an undetermined knee problem.
I first discovered the knee problem when I was on a sort of jogging date. There was this woman that lived above us in our apartment building that was very mysterious to my roommate, Jason, and I. She drove a nice, yellow Mustang. She was very hot, and Brazilian (as all Brazilians are), and had an accent. Her name was Claudia (pronounced Clow-sha). She kept weird hours, and in the little interaction we had with her, she told us that she worked in “fashion.” All of those clues seemed to clearly suggest that she was a stripper. This was a complete guess, based on circumstantial evidence, but she was alluring nonetheless.
Somehow, someway, I ended up on a jogging date with her. I don’t remember how this happened, women I found attractive, were, at the time, the exact women I shied away from. But there we were, jogging to a track, and then running around a track together. I had run cross country in high school, so I figured I would be able to keep up for sure. However, this knee nuisance became a knee problem on that track and I had to stop. Just like that, our jogging dating life was done. I still saw her around the building some, and we talked about watching a movie sometime, but it never panned out, I think, because she couldn’t see herself with a man with a faulty knee, and I couldn’t see myself with a woman who may or may not have been in “fashion.” It’s clear we had just been using each other for one thing, jogging companionship.
Anyway, back to the NYC health club. Not knowing much, I took the advice of a fellow intern mooching a “membership” and joined a spin class. This was when I learned the harsh reality of health clubs: All spin class instructors are the direct descendants of Nazi officers. This guy was doing a boot camp. He was mean. All of the sudden, my knee starts yelling at me to stop. When your knee yells, you listen. The only problem was that I was spinning so fast that I couldn’t figure out how to disengage from the machine. I pulled my body behind the machine while keeping my feet in the straps trying to shift my weight backwards and slow momentum. Immediately when I did that, physics threw me to the ground behind the bike where I promptly got up and scurried out of the room.
I got a one month membership to a club in Springfield for Christmas from my in-laws. Unfortunately, it is due to expire next week. Fortunately, a guy I know has a production company, The Black Raven Creative and has a Facebook page. I learned today that he was giving away (2) one year memberships to the same club if you found a creative way to take a picture of the company’s initials, TRBC. Unemployed, with time on his hands Jeff sprung into action. I quickly made a Scrabble board spell it out, did some Photoshop work on it, posted it on their wall and waited.
You see, working out is important to me, especially so when I want some semblance of feeling productive as I look for a job. But, we definitely can’t afford a monthly membership. Also, Michelle would love to work out after a year of feeling fairly homebound.
As Michelle and I were driving home from dinner at the exclusive Macaroni Grill, I was explaining my submission to her when I got a notice on my phone. I had won! We sat in the driveway in the car and screamed and gave a bunch of high fives. At that point, we didn’t know that there were two memberships. While still in the car we realized that there were, in fact, two one year memberships and we freaked out again. Honestly, though, it is such a relief, I was bummed for my trial to be done next week. It was a real gift. I will just avoid the spin classes.