Sunday, February , 2012
Super Bowl! The game! The commercials! The old lady slowly walking and singing at halftime! The game was great, and that old lady seemed nice, but let’s talk about the commercials. I’m always interested in the story behind the commercials. The advertising people hired spent a ton of time and money coming up with the these spots. They had a lot of conversations before the finished product. What was the genesis of the idea? What was the conversation that was had? What were they thinking? We can only imagine, so let’s get to it.
Inside the Samsung Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: Hey guys, I had a thought.
Ad Guy 2: Shoot.
Ad Guy 1: We’re competing against Apple’s iPhone, which has most everything you could want, right?
Ad Guy 2: Yeah, it’s tough.
Ad Guy 1: What’s the one thing it doesn’t have?
Ad Guy 2: I don’t know.
Ad Guy 1: A stick that you can easily lose!
Ad Guy 2: You mean like a stylus?
Ad Guy 1: What?
Ad Guy 2: That seems useless. Didn’t Palm Pilots have those like 10 years ago? I thought people went away from those because everyone hated them.
Ad Guy 1: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you right now, the future is too loud in my ears.
Ad Guy 2: Let’s create a marketing campaign solely based on the fact that we have a phone with a stick that you can easily use, and serves the same basic purpose as a finger. The fingerless will love it! We’ll have a ton of people in the commercial, it will be stupid expensive.
Ad Guy 1: That’s idiotic.
Ad Guy 2: Then we agree, we’ll do it.
Inside the GoDaddy.com Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: I don’t respect women.
Ad Guy 2: Yeah, me neither!
Ad Guy 3: Let’s prove it to the world through a commercial!
Inside the Teleflora Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: Okay, we got a Super Bowl spot, so we need to do something that really exemplifies who Teleflora is, you know, what we represent, you know, what kind of business we are. This is our one chance.
Ad Guy 2: Well, we sell flowers…
Ad Guy 1: Yes…
Ad Guy 2: Over the phone…
Ad Guy 1: Go on…
Ad Guy 2: Then, the way I see it, clearly our ad should be selling sex.
Ad Guy 1: What?
Ad Guy 2: There is nothing more sexy than the phone. You ever seen a picture of Alexander Graham Bell with his shirt off? On top of that, we sell flowers, which is an integral part of the birds and the bees talk, where do you think the pollen comes from?
Ad Guy1: Alright! I’m convinced! Sex it is! We’ll just need to be sure to make the woman sexy, and then at the end, super creepy sexy, you know, with the subtext being, “Hey, we sell high quality flowers over the phone. Think of us when you’re horny.”
Inside the Cars.com Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: I ate some really old yogurt on accident, and then followed it with ecstasy and crystal meth. I’ve got an idea…
Inside H&M Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: You know what sucks?
A Guy 2: What?
Ad Guy 1: The objectification of women in commercials. It disgusts me. It leads women to have poor body images, and is simply degrading.
Ad Guy 2: Yeah, you’re right we should do something about it. We should pledge to never objectify a woman in an H&M ad.
Ad Guy 1: Wrong. We need to objectify men too.
Ad Guy 2: Brilliant!
Inside the Fiat Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: We did it! We’ve not been selling in America for long, but we managed to snag a Super Bowl ad. Now, this is going to be expensive, so it has to be good.
Ad Guy 2: Well, let’s think about it. People usually watch the Super Bowl with a lot of other people, usually in mixed company. We need to do an ad that will make people feel really uncomfortable. Picture this, a guy is watching, sitting next to an older female coworker named Janice, and our ad comes on. It makes him feel really uncomfortable because we have a sexy woman car, like a modern day slutty Kit. He’s like, “Oh man, I wish I was anywhere but here right now.”
Ad Guy 1: How does that help us?
Ad Guy 2: How is he going to get away?
Ad Guy 1: In a Fiat…
Ad Guy 2: A Fiat…
Ad Guy 1: Beautiful. Oh, and let’s spill some foam on her chest too.
Inside the Toyota Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: Hey everyone, I got some great ecstasy and crystal meth from my friend who works at Cars.com! I have an idea…
Ad Guy 1: Monkeys in suits!
Ad Guy 2: Monkeys in suits!
Ad Guy 3: Monkeys in suits!
Ad Guy 4: Monkeys in suits!
All of them: Monkeys in suits! Monkeys in suits! Monkeys in suits! Monkeys in suits! Monkeys in suits!
Inside the Kia Headquarters
Ad Guy 1: So, I was at a crazy party with a friend who works at Cars.com and another buddy from Toyota…