The journey that started the last year plus began quietly and innocently enough. It was a normal life progression sort of thing. Michelle said, “So, I think I’m actually ready to have kids.” It wasn’t too unlike many other conversations we had had about the subject, it was just that this time, she meant it, and I knew it. I also knew that I was ready too…
Except for one thing.
I needed to go to L.A.
When Michelle and I had that first conversation, I understood that for the first time. It was maybe the first time that I realized that we aren’t here forever. You can ask the litany of friends I have had honking in the driveways of my life that time hasn’t been a set in stone reality for me most of my life. This was the first time that I thought, “If I don’t do this now, there won’t be a time that I get around to it.”
So, there I was stuck squarely in the definition of ambivalence. There isn’t any real drama here, though. I summoned the courage and went to L.A. and then summoned the wisdom of knowing when it was time to come home.
While in L.A., I experienced an evolution, as thoughts and conversations of having kids transitioned from feelings of unmet adventures to feelings of excitement and anticipation. I couldn’t wait. We couldn’t wait. You know when you’re a kid swinging, and you end up getting in sync with the person swinging next to you? When I was growing up, we called that being “married.” In real marriages, the timing on things such as when to have kids isn’t always in sync between spouses, but every so often you find it, and you are “married.” Those are good times. It’s good when you’re married married.
At the time I announced I was coming home, I wrote:
I’m going to go home to my wife…
To try to make babies…
I don’t know how long it will take…
But we’ll keep trying…
And that sounds like a lot of fun…
Junior high Jeff would even call the act of trying a dream realized.
So, I came home and we started trying. And by trying, I mean, well, you know, you’ll have to read between the lines (Seriously, squint your eyes, I have implanted a Magic Eye Kama Sutra between the lines of this post). I started learning a lot, like that you can only fertilize an egg in a few day window each month. That was news to me. How statistically unlucky are unwanted teen pregnancies? We, as adults, should keep the mantle of not letting this information out to the hordes of horny teenagers out there.
With that information, and the doubts that my body could do anything right, I was certain it was going to take forever. It takes forever for normal people, and I am not one of them.
On a Sunday morning in late January, I was awoken by Michelle’s squeal. I recognized it through my grogginess. It was the same as when I proposed. She was squealing and giggling and running back and forth, just like when I proposed.
She was pregnant.
We were pregnant.
Well, she was pregnant.
She is pregnant.
Am I more than a little freaked out? Yes. Am I mostly excited? Yes.
Here is a picture of Michelle that we took tonight. I told her that she transitioned from hot to gorgeous as a pregnant woman.
In that same post where I announced I was coming home, I wrote:
We tend to think that dreams have to be nearly unreachable and exciting to be worthwhile. I like the thought of driving three days in a car to reunite with my wife being a dream fulfilled. I like the thought of my future kids being worth sacrificing something for.
I still think that, and I’m still on this side of actually meeting those kids, but I’ll get to know one soon.
To answer your questions:
-Yes, she was sick, but has been feeling better for the last few weeks.
-No, we don’t know the gender, and we won’t for a few more weeks.
-No, I haven’t heard of that. What? Gross. Really? That’s a thing? How is that possible? Please stop telling me things.
Oh, also, I knew about the pregnancy before my official last post of the year, and it was killing me to not put it in the last post and/or video, but we couldn’t announce it yet. It would have been a storybook ending to the completion of the blog. This was the secret post that I alluded to, knowing that I would have a few epilogue posts. Several people guessed correctly from that post. Congrats.